Dad Jokes/Transcript
In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: "RWBY CHIBI"! Neptune Vasilias sits in a dark room, his face illuminated by a television screen. Neptune: Haha! Tremble before ChicMagnet88, mortals! I am unstoppable! Lie Ren and Sun Wukong are sitting next to Neptune on a couch, watching him play video games. Ren: He really gets into this game. Sun: You have no idea. (Sun points at the TV) Uh oh, here comes that guy who always kills you. Sun puts his hands on his hips while looking at Neptune. Neptune: What?! My nemesis! TailFail01! This time I'm ready for him, I've been practicing for weeks! Neptune sits up straight, smiling confidently. Sun raises one hand inquisitively, smirking. Sun: What's the plan? Neptune: Serpentine! (Neptune stands up on the couch, one leg on the arm) Zig, (he takes his foot off the arm, standing on one foot) then zag, (He shifts to the other foot, crouching with one leg in the air) then zig AGAIN. (He brings his feet together, leaning forward with a cocky grin.) Then hit them from behind! Neptune drops back onto the couch in a sitting position, only to drop his controller, wearing a shocked expression. He drops his controller. Neptune: No! How does he always beat me? It's like he knows every move I'm gonna make, before I make it. Neptune slides off the couch, crying, and sinks into the floor before disappearing. Sun reveals a controller which was hidden behind his back, held by his tail. Ren gives Sun a confused look. Ren: Why do you torment him like that? Sun: It's much more fun than the game itself. Neptune: (Still out of view) It's like he's inside my head! ---- Velvet Scarlatina and Ruby Rose stand in a field. Ruby is holding Crescent Rose in its scythe form, and Velvet is holding her camera. Velvet: Now say cheese. Ruby: Cheese! Velvet takes a picture of Crescent Rose, and the box that holds Anesidora opens up; projecting a blue, holographic version of Crescent Rose. Velvet glances up on it and changes something on her camera, causing the hologram to turn yellow. She repeats the action and it becomes white, then blue with cartoonish eyes and sparkles before becoming an exact copy. Velvet: Eh, no filter. Ruby smiles excitedly and gives a thumbs up. ---- A trail of empty red plates leads up to Nora Valkyrie, who is laying in a chair, unresponsive, eyes white and pupil-less. Neptune and Ren are standing on either side, while Neptune and Yang Xiao Long stare up over the top. Neptune: What's wrong with Nora? Ren: I'm... Not sure. She's been like this for hours. Sun: Nora, did you eat all of Ren's pancakes again? Nora points at the plates, barely able to speak. Nora: Waaafffllleeesss Ren: Oh no! (Ren steps back in shock, holding his arms out to his sides) Those are twice as filling as pancakes! Yang: I guess you could say Nora is... Fed up? Neptune: I, um, uh, okay. We should probably send for help. Yang: You guys, I think Nora bit off more than she could chew. Am I right? Sun: Yang! Quit screwing around! (He aims both hands down towards Nora) This could be something serious, like indigestion. (he sticks both hands out into the air, glancing at Yang before leaning towards her with his hands on the back of the chair, glaring.) Why do you do this?! Taiyang Xiao Long walks into the room, he poses humorously on one foot. Taiyang: Hi kids! Yang: Dad? How'd you get here? Taiyang: How do you think? (He prances over towards the group, wearing a huge grin) I used my legs! Sun: (Whispered to Neptune:) Oh no, the only thing worse than puns. Taiyang: By the way, I want to give a big shoutout to all the sidewalks. For keeping me off the streets. (He points at himself with both thumbs) Sun makes a mortified expression and speaks in slow motion, yelling. Sun: Daaad joookeees! (his words echo slightly, in a deeper tone.) Crickets chirp as Neptune, Sun, and Ren all have worried expressions. Ren: Just remembered, I have to go iron all my clothes. (He walks backwards out of frame, accompanied by a squeaking sound with each step.) Neptune: And, uh, I have swimming practice. (He turns on one foot wand waves before bolting out of the room. Neptune leans back into the room from the top of the door frame) Yep, uh, conquered all my fears. Ha! (He flees once more.) Sun: I have to, uh. I was gonna, er. My thing was. Ah, forget it. (He jumps out the window, leaving a silhouette shaped hole.) Taiyang: What's with your friends? (He steps over and leans against the arm of the chair.) I was on a roll. Yang: It probably would have been butter, if you never started. (Yang gestures with both palms facing upwards) Taiyang: Ugh, was that joke made of paper? Because. (Yang joins, speaking in unison with Tai) It was tearable. (Taiyang and his daughter make finger guns at each-other.) Category:Transcripts